Dark Shadows is full of wonderful characters imbued with dark, quirky goodness that you feel connected to because of all the care that is taken to ensure the audience relates - oh wait, no,sorry, that's Edward Scissorhands.  Never mind.

So let’s just cut to the chase…The Avengers is totally kick-ass, balls to the wall awesome! Okay, give me a minute to collect myself. Whew! Fine, let’s continue.

Hysteria is a romantic comedy set in 1880s London about the accidental discovery of the first electric vibrator. Based on that premise we’re all pretty much on board, right? Great.

I like Jason Statham, it's no secret.  I've championed the Crank movies enough, particularly Crank 2, for their unique style and near comic book bending of reality.  Even the Transporter movies have their action genre delights.  However, Safe, even with its' old school action set up and play, doesn't have the inventiveness or even the chops of director team Neveldine and Taylor to save it. 

Chimpanzee is a movie made by a Disney. It’s about chimpanzees. Mostly one but I can’t say that is certain because I can’t tell chimpanzees apart because I am not a chimpanzee. Maybe I would have enjoyed this movie more if I were some sort of monkey, or if I were a human who was all about fruit and nut eating. Maybe it would have been enjoyable if I had entered the theater thinking, “Man, I hope I get to see hairy things eating over and over and over and over.” But I didn’t. So, fuck Chimpanzee.